CL Rehab

Okay, confession.

You can't be a good rock star without a major addiction. And yes, I have mine.

My name is Jana (hi Jana) and I'm addicted to Craigslist.

I know, I know, it sounds a little fantastical, but it's true. I know that CL is full of junk and a waste of my time. It's just that I've had so many good experiences. Like here's all the stuff I found on Craigslist:

• Mike, my guitar player


• Brett, who lets me play laptop in his band


• My last three apartments


• My TV


• My DVD player


• The art in my bathroom


• An art student who let me talk about religion on camera in exchange for prints of his art


• The dog shelter where I volunteer


• Several of my music gigs

... And most of my friends.

So put yourself in my position. Would you want to give it up?

Now that I have Craigsphone, my problem has gotten worse. Two or three times a day, I scroll through all of the bizarre ads about foot fetish parties and unpaid internships doing other people's laundry thinking I'm going to hit the jackpot. And yes, I have triumphed over the unorganized, inappropriate mess many times in the past. But my successes are waaaaaaayy out of proportion to the amount of time I spend on there.

Maybe I'm just too picky. I'm kind of a grammar snob. Here are the reasons Ill ignore an ad:

• ALL CAPS


• too ... many ... ellipses ...


• Stupid misspellings (like people who say they want to get signed to a "lable")


• Whining about loneliness (You live in New York, surrounded by millions of strangers. You think you're the only one who's lonely?)


• Acting as if getting signed to a major "lable" is going to result in a 100% caviar diet


• Talking about how much you like clubbing and poppin' bottles (just go to the liquor store. At least there, if you have to wait in line, you'll be indoors.)


• Talking about how you want to find your "ride or die bitch" (That's supposed to make me want o be your friend?)

So yeah, maybe I'm too selective. But maybe that's why I've had 95% good experiences.

Maybe I can make a computer program that would filter out all these ads and send me what's left in a daily email. That would be awesome. But... It would also take away the joy of the CL hunt.

I spend way too much time thinking about this.

This is why I need to go to CL rehab.